Wow, it’s hard to believe my last blog post was from Dreamforce ’23, and here we are at Dreamforce ’24. So much has happened since then, and life has taken me in directions I never expected. A little over a year ago, my husband accepted a new role with the Department of the Navy, moving him to Japan for three years. I thought I had a plan for how everything would unfold, but little did I know, the past year would be filled with challenges, growth, and big life decisions. From navigating life as a “single” mom to supporting my stepdaughter through a health crisis, this journey has been anything but predictable.
In this post, I’m reflecting on how I’ve managed to balance family, work, and personal well-being while learning to embrace change and set boundaries in ways I never had to before.
When my husband accepted his new role in Japan, I seriously considered relocating us to be with him. After weighing the pros and cons, job searches, and conversations with other trailblazers overseas, it became clear that moving overseas posed too many professional risks. Job opportunities were limited, especially for military spouses, and ultimately, I decided to stay in the U.S. to continue building my career and to ensure stability for my daughters. To make things a little easier, I moved back to my hometown, where I would be closer to family and have their support while navigating life as a “single” mom.
At the time, it seemed like a straightforward decision, but it set the stage for what would become one of the most challenging periods of my life.
Six months into this new arrangement, everything changed again when my stepdaughter, who was in Japan with my husband, went into kidney failure. I dropped everything and flew across the country to be with her. Once she was safely back in the U.S. and stable, we made the difficult decision for her to move in with me and my youngest daughter. Suddenly, our little townhouse, which had been just enough for the two of us, felt even smaller.
This transition was not only physically challenging but also emotionally complex. My stepdaughter and I have never really seen eye to eye, and adding her health issues to the mix made things even more difficult. But despite our differences, we made it work—adapting to this new normal while focusing on her recovery and supporting each other as best we could.
With everything happening at home, I initially didn’t slow down or adjust my commitments. In fact, during this early period, I helped start a women in Salesforce mentoring community at work, continued volunteering with groups to mentor veterans and skill them up in Salesforce, and helped manage our RAD Women cohorts. I even received a promotion to principal consultant at work. Throwing myself into these projects felt like the best way to stay grounded and maintain some sense of normalcy amidst the chaos.
But eventually, I had to face the reality that I couldn’t keep up with everything. Balancing a demanding job while caring for two kids—one of whom required frequent medical care—and trying to be supportive of another off at college, meant I had to be realistic about my limits. For the first time, I started saying no to things at work, recognizing that I didn’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth to take on everything.
Saying no didn’t come easily. Every time I had to turn something down, it felt like a failure. I’ve always taken pride in managing a lot at once, and letting go of commitments made me feel like I wasn’t living up to my own expectations. It took time to understand that stepping back wasn’t a sign of failure—it was a necessary step to preserve my well-being and keep everything else running smoothly.
Thankfully, I wasn’t doing this alone. My mom and mother-in-law stepped in to help with childcare and driving my stepdaughter to her dialysis appointments. Their support allowed me to keep up with my job while giving me the emotional reassurance that I wasn’t falling short as a mom.
One of the hardest parts of this journey has been accepting that I couldn’t do it all. Normally, I would be diving into new learning opportunities, earning certifications, and saying yes to more projects at work. But this past year has forced me to slow down. I’ve had to put my certification journey on hold and not commit to as many work projects as I’d like.
It was difficult at first, but I’ve learned that stepping back doesn’t mean failure. It’s about understanding your own capacity and prioritizing what matters most. By slowing down, I’ve been able to focus on what truly needs my attention—both at home and in my career.
I never thought I would be someone who would learn work/life balance. For so long, I pushed myself to excel in all areas without giving much thought to slowing down. But even in these unfortunate circumstances, this has been an enlightening period for me. It’s taught me the importance of reflection and personal growth, allowing me to reshape how I approach both work and life. I’ve come to realize that stepping back is sometimes the strongest move you can make, and it’s helped me grow in ways I never anticipated.
Looking back on this past year and a half, I’m amazed at what I’ve been able to handle. From buying a new home to give my family more space to supporting my stepdaughter through dialysis and a GED journey, there have been countless challenges. But with those challenges have come lessons about setting boundaries, relying on support, and being okay with stepping back when needed.
In the midst of it all, I’ve also made two trips to Japan to visit my husband, which have been important for keeping our connection strong despite the distance. On top of that, I’m proud to say my stepdaughter has started college, my oldest daughter is now in her sophomore year of college, and my youngest just started second grade. Seeing all of them progress, despite the ups and downs and so many changes, has been a huge reminder of what truly matters. It’s been a challenging time, but these milestones make it all worthwhile.
Although I’ve done my best to stay positive and keep a smile on my face, I’ve seen the cracks start to show. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes, people will ask if everything is okay, and it makes me feel bad, like I’m letting them down because I’m not my usual perky or energetic self. It’s hard not to feel guilty when I can’t maintain the same energy level I once had, but I’m learning to accept that it’s okay to not always be at 100%.
Still, through the most difficult moments, I’ve found new strength in my ability to adapt. I’ve also discovered a passion for advocating for military spouses, especially those who find themselves facing similar challenges. This journey has shown me the importance of speaking up and providing support for those who might feel isolated in their struggles.
This journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s been one of immense growth. And I move forward with hope and determination, knowing that even in the face of uncertainty, I am capable of navigating whatever life throws my way.
This past year has tested me in ways I never expected. From personal to professional challenges, the path hasn’t always been smooth, but it’s been filled with growth. As I continue to balance work, family, and my own well-being, I’m grateful for the lessons learned and the support of both my family and my Slalom family, which has made all the difference. And while this journey is far from over, we’ve just started a new adventure—being added to the kidney transplant list in hopes that my stepdaughter will receive a new kidney. There’s still a long road ahead, but I have faith that I have the strength to overcome any challenge that comes my way.
I realize I could expand on each one of these topics, and maybe I will eventually. Self reflection is hard!
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